MFEGs Breakdown of Oscar Best Picture Nominees

MFEGs Breakdown of Oscar Best Picture Nominees

So I thought I would do this article with the Academy Awards being this Sunday, and my wife being very interested in the subject matter. And to be very honest with you all, my very loyal couple of readers, I have actually only personally viewed 2 of the films. So these short reviews are going to be based on my viewing of the trailers, and second hand opinions from listening to co-workers conversations about the films.
Let us begin.

127 Hours
This film drama about mulilation and sacrifice stars James Franco, experienced dramatic actor, who might remember as the Stoner in Pineapple Express, and Himself in 30 Rock. I didn't actually see this film, but I did read the synposis on Wikipedia, and I did watch the trailer. Judging from the trailer, and his past roles, I find it believable that he could cut his own arm off if you told him there were drugs in there. I was only disappointed that he didn't do it with this teeth. Its pretty F'd Up, and since I don't care for movies like Saw, or Hostile, I choose to stay away from those slasher flicks retarded little cousin.
MFEG Rating: 1/10

Black Swan
An Inside look into the world of Ballet, and the personal turmoil put up with by these rich daddy's girls. The only differance between these girls and the girls working down at the local Perv Row are a few extra zeros in Daddys Bank Account, and the fact that he made it to her dance recital on time. Even when someone tried to intice me about the prospect of Natalie Prtman and Mila Kunis hooking up on camera, all I could think about was Meg Griffin treating Queen Amadala as her prison bitch. No Thanks.
MFEG Rating 2/10

The Fighter
A Boxing Movie with Marky Mark and no Funky Bunch. Mark Wahlberg was perfect for this role, considering the 3 minutes of artistic hell he put us through as he did his Shadow Boxing Dance all the way through the Good Vibrations Video. I had little to know desire to see this after witnessing the labotimization of acting skills which must have happened when he got suckered into starring in The Other Guys. When the producers relaized they signed this guy to a binding contract they must have immediately jumped up and shouted, "Call Batman" I am sure I will enjoy it once its out on DVD.
MFEG RAting 5/10

Inception
Here is a movie that even the actors admitted they still don't understand. Its a dream within a dream within a dream. C'mon, you are telling me that guys that can control dreams would rather mess with other guys, rather than spend the entire dream alone with Katy Perry? The last time I was so sound asleep that I had a dream within a dream was when I saw Leo drowning on the Titanic.
MFEG Rating 1/10

The Kids Are Alright
Didn't see it, don't really care. My Wife wants to see it, so I guess that will give me a night to play Xbox. Seriously though, how does a film that wasn't even in the Theatre, or on DVD make it to be an Oscar Nominee. Seems to me someone was kneeling under the podium when the nominees were announced!
MFEG RAting 1/10

The King's Speech
I do want to see this, The trailers look pretty cool, and Helena Bonham Carter is so creepy in everything else she is in, she is actually one of the coolest women in Hollywood. So its no surprise that she is married to the coolest director in Hollywood, Tim Burton. I am thinking of this movie as the little film that could. It was supposedly shot on a £11 Million Budget. Anyone that can make a believeable period piece with that kind of money has Talent. Based on the Trailer and the ninja accounting skills:
MFEG Rating 8/10

The Social Network
Ah Yes, Facebook. How did we ever stalk ex girlfriends and family we don't like before you? We have Mark Zuckerberg to thank for that one. Jessie Eisenberg has been praised as "nailing the part!". Jessie must have realized he got it all wrong when Marked showed up during his SNL Monologue. Mark wasn't a socially awkward shutin like Jessie played him. The way he was grinning from ear to ear on Camera, looking like a 10 year old boy that just found his dads massive porn collection, Mark isn't socially awkward shutin, he is a socaially awkward attention whore.
MFEG Rating 3/10 only because we didn't come up with the idea for Myspace 2.0 first!

Toy Story 3
Disney you have done it again. You have successfully navigated us through another LSD Inspired ride through 2 days in the lives of talking toys. What we have here now is the third time that Woody's "Friends" have abandoned him due to his selfish attitude. Woody has yet to realize that he isn't the leader of the gang, but rather the kid with the learning disability who always has to pick teams when the kids play kickball. Woody is like the older sibling that none of the other kids like, cause he has to make all the decisions, we have to watch what Woody wants to watch, we have to play the games Woody wants to play. Back off Woody! What really could have helped this movie would have been more Adult Humour like the first 2 Shrek Movies. Thats right, for Toy Story to be better, it needs more Shrek
MFEG Rating 6/10

True Grit
You know how I said that Grand Theft Auto IV was the greatest game ever made? Well, True Grit would be its cinematic Counterpart. I am normally a person who prefers the originals when it comes to re-makes, but Jeff Bridges is twice the Rooster Cogburn that John Wayne was, and I am a very big John Wayne fan. This movie has everything, comedic insults between the leads, gunfights, amputation, and subtle racism. This is the movie that all other movies shall now be compared against. Iff this movie does not win Best Picture, and Jeff Bridges does not win Best Actor, then that alone will be all the proof anyone needs to agree that the Oscars are fixed!
MFEG RAting 10/10

Winters Bone
Sorry, when I heard the movie wasn't what its title suggested, I passed
MFED Rating 1/10 for leading me on! That, and I ran out of juice writing.